#AlltheSingleLadies: You Don't Want What You Think You Do!

We know it sounds like a cliché, but in this case it’s true: single women are often initially attracted to qualities in a man that become problematic in marriage. Most won’t realize this until the fog of infatuation lifts. How can you single women be sure this won’t happen to you?

Let’s take one example: women are more likely to experience romantic love with highly dominant men—not dominant in a healthy, let-me-serve-you way, but dominant in a controlling kind of way (which, at the start, looks like he’s just taking care of you). These men often demonstrate less ability to express the kind of companionship, relational skills, and emotional attachment that women ultimately desire in a lifelong mate.

Acts 6:3 sums it up perfectly: “Select men who are well respected and are full of the Spirit and wisdom.” This is what the early church looked for in leaders of their congregations, and it’s what you want to look for in leaders of your home. Men who are filled with the Spirit—they are alive to God, and God is active in them—and men who are full of wisdom. You won’t regret making a choice founded on that basis.