#AlltheSingleLadies: Pre-Marital Sex (Part 2)

10 Reasons Not to Have Sex Outside of Marriage (continued)

Reason #6 - We Will Show Consideration for Our Partner's Well-Being

If we put our partner's needs above our own and consider their spiritual well-being, we'll be compelled to wait for sex. We, like God, will want what's best for them.

Ephesians 5:2  Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. (NLT)
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; (NASB)

Reason #7 - Waiting is a Test of True Love

Love is patient. That's about as simple as it gets. We can learn the sincerity of our partner's love by their willingness, or lack thereof, to wait.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking ... (NIV)

Reason #8 - We Will Have No Negative Consequences to Deal With

There are always consequences to sin. Some of those effects can be devastating. An unwanted pregnancy, a decision to have an abortion or place a child for adoption, broken relationships with family and friends — these are just a few of the possible outcomes we face when we choose to have sex outside of marriage. We should be sure to consider the snow ball effect of sin. And what if the relationship does not last? Hebrews 12:1 shows that sin hinders our lives and easily entangles us. We will be much better off if we avoid these negative consequences.

Reason #9 - We Will Keep Our Christian Testimony Intact

We don't set a very good example of godly living when we disobey God. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 4:12 to "be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." (NIV)

In Matthew 5:13 Jesus compares his followers to "salt" and "light" when we represent him in the world. When we no longer shine the light of Christ, when we lose our Christian testimony, we lose our "saltiness." In other words, we become flavorless and bland. We lose our ability to attract the world to Christ. Luke 14:34-35 puts it strongly, saying that salt without saltiness is worthless, not even fit for the manure pile.

Reason #10 - We Won't Settle For Less Than God's Perfect Will

When we choose to have sex outside of marriage, we settle for less than God's perfect will — for ourselves and for our partner. And if we do this, we don't know what we might end up with. Perhaps we'll end up in a miserable marriage.

So, here's some food for thought: If your partner wants sex before marriage, consider this as a warning sign about their spiritual condition. If you are the one who wants sex before marriage, consider this as a warning sign of your own spiritual condition.

#AlltheSingleLadies: Pre-Marital Sex, Is It Worth It?

There's no way around it—today's culture fills our minds with hundreds of reasons to just go ahead and have sex outside of marriage. But as Christians, we don't want to simply follow everyone else. We want to follow Christ and know what the Bible says about sex outside of marriage.

10 Reasons Not to Have Sex Outside of Marriage

Reason #1 - God Tells Us Not to Have Sex Outside of Marriage

In the seventh of God's Ten Commandments, he instructs us not to have sex with anyone other than our spouse. It is clear that God forbids sex outside of marriage. When we obey God, he is pleased. He honors our obedience by blessing us.

Deuteronomy 28:1-3 If you fully obey the LORD your God ... [he] will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God ... (NIV)

God has a reason for giving us this command. First and foremost, he knows what's best for us. By obeying him, we trust God to look out for our best interests.

Reason #2 - We Won't Miss Out on the Blessing of the Wedding Night

There's something very special about a couple's first time. In this physical act the two become one flesh. Yet it is more than just physical oneness — a spiritual union takes place. God planned for this exclusive experience of discovery and pleasure to happen only within the intimacy of marriage. If we don't wait, we miss out on a very special blessing from God.

1 Corinthians 6:16 Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one." (The Message)

Reason #3 - We Will Be Spiritually Healthier

If we live as carnal or fleshly Christians, we will seek to gratify the desires of the flesh and live only to please ourselves. If we live this way, the Bible says we cannot please God. We will be miserable under the weight of our sin. As we continue to feed our fleshly desires, our spirit will grow weak and our relationship with God will be destroyed. Complacency with sin leads to worse sin, and eventually, spiritual death.

Romans 8:8,13 Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live ... (NIV)

Reason #4 - We Will Be Physically Healthier

This one is a no-brainer. If we refrain from sex outside of marriage, we will be protected from the risk of catching sexually transmitted diseases.

1 Corinthians 6:18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. (NLT)

Reason #5 - We Will Be Emotionally Healthier

One reason God tells us to honor marriage and keep the marriage bed pure has to do with baggage. We carry baggage into our sexual relationships. Memories from the past, emotional scars and unwanted mental images can defile our thoughts and make the marriage bed less than pure. Certainly God can forgive the past, but that doesn't mean we're free from the baggage that can linger in our minds.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (NIV)

#AlltheSingleLadies: Experiencing a Toothache Called Loneliness

In a sense, loneliness is like a toothache: It's a warning signal that something is wrong. And like a toothache, if left unattended, it usually gets worse. Your first response to loneliness may be to self-medicate - to try home remedies to make it go away.

Busyness is a common treatment.

You may think that if you fill your life with so many activities that you don't have time to think about your loneliness, you'll be cured. But busyness misses the message. It's like trying to heal a toothache by taking your mind off it. Busyness is only a distraction, not a cure.

Buying is another favorite therapy.

Maybe if you purchase something new, if you "reward" yourself, you'll feel better. And surprisingly, you do feel better - but only for a short while. Buying things to fix your loneliness is like an anesthetic. Sooner or later the numbing effect wears off. Then the pain comes back as strong as ever. Buying can also compound your problems with a mountain of credit card debt.

Bed is a third response to loneliness.

You may believe that intimacy is what you need, so you make an unwise choice with sex. Like the prodigal son, after you come to your senses, you're horrified to discover that this attempt at a cure not only makes loneliness worse, it also makes you feel desperate and cheap. This is the false cure of our modern culture, which promotes sex as a game, as recreation. This response to loneliness always ends in feelings of alienation and regret.

God's answer to loneliness is not the quantity of your relationships, but the quality.

How is your relationship with God? Is it close and intimate, like that of a loving, caring father and his child? Or is your relationship with God cold and distant, only superficial?

As you reconnect with God and your prayers become more conversational and less formal, you'll actually feel God's presence. His reassurance is not just your imagination. We worship a God who lives among his people through the Holy Spirit. Loneliness is God's way, first, of drawing you closer to him, then forcing you to reach out to other people.

For many of you, improving your relationships with others and letting them get close to you is a distasteful cure, as dreaded as taking your toothache to a dentist. But satisfying, meaningful relationships take time and work. You are afraid to open up. You are afraid to let another person open up to you.

If you muster the courage to restore your relationship with God, then with others, you'll find your loneliness lifting. This is not a spiritual Band-Aid, but a real cure that works.

Your risks toward others will be rewarded. You'll find someone who understands and cares, and you'll find others whom you understand and care about as well. Like a visit to the dentist, this cure turns out to be not only final, but much less painful than you feared.

#AlltheSingleLadies: Keep it Moving...!

Postponing life until marriage is one of the commonest traps singles can fall into.

You think, "When I'm married I'll do this…" or, "After I get married then I'll finally be happy…"

But marriage may be farther off than you think, and for some of you, marriage may not happen at all. Postponing life can start as a harmless wish but can turn into a self-limiting habit that keeps you from becoming the person God wants you to be.

For most singles, going places and doing things alone can be scary. One of God's best gifts is a good friend who's ready to go on the spur of the moment. Friendships like that have to be cultivated, which means you need to overlook others' faults. When you are honest enough to admit you have faults of your own, you can be forgiving of others. Simply practicing the Golden Rule can strengthen any relationship.

Your life gets bigger every time you trust God and step out in faith. At first you may feel apprehensive, but God can give you the courage you lack.

#AlltheSingleLadies: Getting It Straight

God's business is putting things right; 
      he loves getting the lines straight, 
   Setting us straight. Once we're standing tall, 
      we can look him straight in the eye.


Psalm 11:7 (MSG)

#AlltheSingleLadies: Defeat of the Enemies

I'm thanking you, God, from a full heart, I'm writing the book on your wonders. 
   I'm whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy; 
      I'm singing your song, High God. 

The day my enemies turned tail and ran, 
      they stumbled on you and fell on their faces. 
   You took over and set everything right; 
      when I needed you, you were there, taking charge. 

You blow the whistle on godless nations; 
      you throw dirty players out of the game, 
      wipe their names right off the roster. 
   Enemies disappear from the sidelines, 
      their reputation trashed, 
      their names erased from the halls of fame. 

God holds the high center, 
      he sees and sets the world's mess right. 
   He decides what is right for us earthlings, 
      gives people their just deserts. 


Psalm 9:1-8 (MSG)

#AlltheSingleLadies: Can't Get By

Nobody gets by with anything. 
      God is already in action— 
   Sword honed on his whetstone, 
      bow strung, arrow on the string, 
   Lethal weapons in hand, 
      each arrow a flaming missile. 

Look at that guy! 
      He had sex with sin, 
      he's pregnant with evil. 
   Oh, look! He's having 
      the baby—a Lie-Baby! 

See that man shoveling day after day, 
      digging, then concealing, his man-trap 
      down that lonely stretch of road? 
   Go back and look again—you'll see him in it headfirst, 
      legs waving in the breeze. 
   That's what happens: 
      mischief backfires; 
      violence boomerangs. 

I'm thanking God, who makes things right. 
   I'm singing the fame of heaven-high God.


Psalm 7:11-17 (MSG)

#AlltheSingleLadies: Affection Starvation

Please, God, no more yelling, no more trips to the woodshed. 
   Treat me nice for a change; 
      I'm so starved for affection. 

Can't you see I'm black-and-blue, 
      beat up badly in bones and soul? 
   God, how long will it take 
      for you to let up? 

Break in, God, and break up this fight; 
      if you love me at all, get me out of here. 
   I'm no good to you dead, am I? 
      I can't sing in your choir if I'm buried in some tomb! 

I'm tired of all this—so tired. My bed 
      has been floating forty days and nights 
   On the flood of my tears. 
      My mattress is soaked, soggy with tears. 
   The sockets of my eyes are black holes; 
      nearly blind, I squint and grope. 

Get out of here, you Devil's crew: 
      at last God has heard my sobs. 
   My requests have all been granted, 
      my prayers are answered. 

Cowards, my enemies disappear. 
   Disgraced, they turn tail and run.




Psalm 6 (MSG)

#AlltheSingleLadies: Give Me Answers...!

When I call, give me answers. God, take my side! Once, in a tight place, you gave me room; 
   Now I'm in trouble again: grace me! hear me! 

You rabble—how long do I put up with your scorn? 
   How long will you lust after lies? 
   How long will you live crazed by illusion? 

Look at this: look 
   Who got picked by God! 
   He listens the split second I call to him. 

Complain if you must, but don't lash out. 
   Keep your mouth shut, and let your heart do the talking. 
   Build your case before God and wait for his verdict. 


Psalm 4:1-5 (MSG)

#AlltheSingleLadies: Keep Godly Relationships

How well God must like you— you don't hang out at Sin Saloon, you don't slink along Dead-End Road,  you don't go to Smart-Mouth College. 

Instead you thrill to God's Word, 
      you chew on Scripture day and night. 
   You're a tree replanted in Eden, 
      bearing fresh fruit every month, 
   Never dropping a leaf, 
      always in blossom. 

You're not at all like the wicked, 
      who are mere windblown dust— 
   Without defense in court, 
      unfit company for innocent people. 

God charts the road you take. 
   The road they take is Skid Row.


Psalm 1

Getting Rid of the Flies in Your Relationships

Why would anyone allow flies to remain in their fragrance of anointment?  Maybe they have developed a familiar connection with the fly and are desensitized to the foul odor and behavior.  Some people never achieve full deliverance because they like a particular behavior and have a kinship and friendship with the unclean spirit; they refuse to abandon the relationship.  If you are in the midst of a filthy and foul odor you will eventually become desensitized to the stench and walk around in it as though all is well.  Someone else could walk in from the fresh clean air and as soon as the door opens they can smell the foul spirit of the house.  That is precisely what God's ministers do, they enter into the room of someone's spirit and smell the foul odor of the enemy even when the person who is in bondage cannot.

Fly Removal Exercise:  List Nine Possible Flies in Your Ointment

Excerpt from "The Spiritual Fragrance of a Woman" by Jerone L. Davison

Be Encouraged... You Were Made for the Man!

Men cannot live out God's original plan without you and you cannot live out God's original plan without the man.  We are co-laborers and co-dependants together in God's plan.  You can live a happy and satisfying life as a single woman, oh yes you can.  However, if you don't wan to why should you?  Be encouraged.  Wear your spiritual fragrance and attract yourself a man after God's own heart.

Stop feelig as though you have sinned or like you are not worthy to be called a child of God because you desire to be married.  Instead, exercise your faith for a husband.  Ask the Lord for more of the perfume that would draw him to you.  Stop fearing and don't panic.  God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of love, and of power and a sound mind (II Timothy 1:7).

Excerpt from "The Spiritual Fragrance of a Woman" by Jerone L. Davison

The Fragrance of a Wife

Declaration

Say these words in faith and agree with God's Word...!

Father, in the Name of Jesus I declare
I am saved and forgiven of all of my sins through the blood of  Jesus.
I am a child of God and I have the breath of God in me.
I agree with Your Word that I was made for the man and man will find me because he has Your breath in his nostrils.
I am anointed with Your spiritual and Heavenly fragrance.
I thank You for the institution and gift of marriage because You made me a wife.

This I declare in Jesus' Name...  Amen.

Excerpt from "The Spiritual Fragrance of a Woman" by Jerone L. Davison

Proud and Single

When you know you look good that can lead to an attitude of vanity.  Some women are too attractive for their own good.  They trust in their good looks to make things happen for them.  In most cases, when they think they have it altogether the spirit of pride begins to move; even upon the bold and the beautiful, especially if they have not humbled themslevs before the Lord.  Pride is a very deceptive spirit that can prevent your life from progressing forward.  Unless you examine yourself for evidence of conceit it can go unnoticed for many years, hindering your life.

Good Women with Bad Men

Good women have great things going for them but for some reason many end up with the short end of the stick in relationships.  It is not surprising to find most of these good women are very faithful, loyal, strong in spirit and mightily used of the Lord.  They encourage others and pray their sisters through but they themselves seem to attrack men who appear to be good first, yet turn out to be just like the last man they were involved with.


Some women start out well but end badly because they have been played and then become players themselvs.  Some women are sneaking around with married men and even celebrate that he treats her better than his wife.  In some warped say they feel special when married men prefer them, being so desperate they cannot think clearly.

Let me tell you this:  The road to Good Marriage Destiny is actually a series of decisions.  If you sleep with him you could lose him and if you don't sleep with him you might lose him.  What will you do?  If you decide to sleep with someone else's husband you have chosen to release a curse on your own destiny; when and if you get married, your man will be the type to cheat on you.  Be careful, even if the curse does not fall on you, your daughters are watching and learn by your example.

Excerpt from "The Spiritual Fragrance of a Woman" by Jerone L. Davison

Consumed By Desire

How many single women do you know who are almost consumed by the desire to get married? There are so many women who are longing for a relationship they are not ready to receive. If you are going to walk with God, you must understand something: Timing is everything.

When the Lord has prepared the right man for you and you for him, and that man shows up at the right time, you must be sure that you are in the right place with the right perspective to receive all that God wants to release to you.

The Bible says that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord”.

Often, because of old issues you haven’t dealth with or old wounds that haven’t healed; you may find yourself wandering around in a stupor somewhere emotionally unprepared for a healthy relation. You will not be able to be the “good thing” you were meant to be in your husband’s life unless you are healed and whole, your man will not feel that He’s enjoying the Lord’s favor in his relationship with you.

Ladies, men do not exist to bring the favor of the Lord to your lives, either. You find the favor of the Lord by being the woman He creates you to be-by breaking the chains with which the devil had you bound b y knowing the Lord passionately and intimately, by walking in His power and worshiping Him with your life.

It Just Haven't Happened Yet, AND WHY?

We all live life differently and experience things at different times. The author encourages you to be who you are and to stop picking apart everything about yourself. She backs up the idea that we all do things (including finding love) in our own time and in our own way. Honestly, the book really makes you feel like you are fine just the way you are and that wherever you are at in your life is where you are supposed to be (which is another thing that I really loved about the book). I guess in a way it reassured me that I am doing what I need to be doing and that I am at the right place in my life.

Living Holy in a Sexy World

Excerpt from
http://uniqueconnections.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/single-ladies-living-holy-in-a-sexy-world

As a single lady living in a sexy world, 

As women we have various issues and concerns we are faced with on a daily basis. Society expects us to be married and have children by a certain age, to be a certain size, and to always look perfect.  However, sometimes our greatest competition is us. As we go through this Christian journey we are reminded that it is a great challenge to try and live holy for God in a sexy world. We have temptations all around us. But how do we handle the temptation? If we are to resist then how do we accomplish that task?





The author writes three powerful chapters that will: change your thinking, empower you to present your body as a living sacrifice, and challenge your will.

The chapters consist of the:

Mind

• How to discipline your mind
• How to stop unwanted thoughts
• How to think positive and have the mind of Christ

Body

• Why your body is God’s temple
• The consequences of being soul-tied
• How to remain celibate until your husband arrives

Soul

• How to control your emotions
• How to seek and discover God’s will for your life
• How to live holy

don’t you dare to be different?

Guarding the Gates of the Soul in Loneliness

The gates of your soul include your eyes, ears and mouth. While it’s true we should guard the gates to our soul at all times, it is especially true during times of loneliness and isolation because it is then when we tend to fall prey to the lies of the enemy. Consider what you feeding your spirit by evaluating what you are watching and listening to on a daily basis. Your entertainment choices can wreak havoc on your state of mind.


When you are feeling lonely be sure you don’t starve your spirit. Remember what you feed will grow, so feed your spirit and not your flesh.



Also, be sure to speak life because your words are powerful. Don’t just speak what you feel, but speak what God says about a matter because that’s truth. For example, don’t just keep telling yourself you’re all alone and nobody loves you. Say, Lord I may feel all alone but I know your Word says you love me and that you will never leave me nor forsake me. No matter how you feel, speak life.

Handling the State of Loneliness

While you may feel as if you have nothing left to give, that’s exactly what you need to do. Give out of your need. Whatever you need, give. Find someone who’s going through something and minister to them. Give and it shall be given unto you (Luke 6:38). This may sound like strange advice, especially when you find yourself in so much pain but keep in mind God’s ways are not like our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Giving does a few things. First it allows you to be God’s hand and feet in the world by blessing others, but it also gets your focus off of you. Press past your pain and find a way to bless someone else because ultimately you will be blessed in the process.


By applying these simple do's and don’ts in time you will begin to feel God strengthening you and recognize His arms uplifting you. So yes you may feel all alone, but know that God is there and He has provided people all around you to help you as well. Don’t isolate yourself from God’s love and His people.

Of course I am not a doctor or psychologist so none of this is attended to be medical advice. If you are experiencing a prolong bout with loneliness and depression, please seek professional help.