Dating, A Reflection of Your Relationship With God

Your dating relationships reflects your relationship with God, and it impacts your relationships with God.  The person you choose to date will either contribute to or take away from your ability to fulfill God's Will for your life.  When dating, it is important that you consider who you are connecting yourself to and who you allow to connect with you.  You should want a healthy relationship with someone who honors and loves God and potentially loves you. ~ Deborah Dukes


Excerpt from "The Revelation of Your Relationships" by Deborah Dukes

Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Oneness

A woman should understand that it is inappropriate to pursue or engage in physical, emotional or spiritual oneness with a man to whom she is not married.

Ephesians 5:3-4 says "But among you there must not be either sexual immorality, impurity of any kind, or greed, as these are not fitting for the saints.  Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting - all of which are out of character - but rather thanksgiving." 

You see, SISTAHS, it's more than just abstaining from sex; to be a true and respectful woman, it's also about watching what you say and how you believe.

For many women, the struggle in relationships isn't a physical issue; rather, it's of a spiritual and emotional matter.  Therefore, to avoid developing spiritual ties, you must conduct yourself appropriate with men whom you consider "friends".  Be careful about praying with or sharing other spiritually and emotionally intimate experiences one-on-one with men whom you consider "friends".

You also need to be cautious about whom you express your hopes, dreams, and fears.  Women have been designed to "naturally" connect with men, but you must always use wisdom and be on guard about your interactions with the opposite sex.

Will a Man Ever Love or Care About Me?

Do past relationships and disappointments prevent you from believing that a man will ever love you or care about you?

SISTAHS, God wants to be your guide in finding a new place – a place where those close to you care for you and admire you.  He wants to demonstrate great love for you, by entrusting your well-being one to one of His sons.  But in order to take advantage of this joy, you have to trust in the Lord God Almighty that something new, something different, and something better will happen for you.

I invite you to trade your sorrows for the joy of the Lord.  Life is not always fair, and some things happen to us that are unjustifiable.  But that doesn’t have to stop you from having a future that is bright, beautiful and rewarding.

God wants to heal you and make you whole, so that you can enjoy life and love once again.

Excerpt from "Lord, I'm Ready to Be a Wife" by Christine Pembleton

She Trains Her Thought Life Not to Lust After Men

A woman should dress modestly so that she does not cause men to stumble, and she trains her thought life not to lust after men.

Excerpt from "When Love's In View" by Dr. Conway & Jada Edwards  

Romans 14:13 underscores this principle: “Therefore we must not pass judgment on one another, but rather determine never to place an obstacle or a trap before a brother or sister.”  To put it simply, women must be very careful about what they wear.  The focus of men’s interest is physical by nature.  They don’t need any help from us in conjuring up physical desire.  If this happens to be a struggle for you and you often feel convicted, earnestly pray and ask the  Lord to show you how to make the appropriate changes in your dress and lifestyle.  God will respond by giving you the grace to help you make the necessary adjustments in your behavior.

As you pursue the heart of God, you will find that what may have been acceptable in the past is no longer acceptable to you.

And SISTAHS, let’s not forget our duty to lovingly, yet boldly encourage and challenge younger ladies as to what they wear – not just talk about them as they walk by.

Choosing Happiness

One reason many people are so anxious to find a mate, is because they believe it is the doorway to happiness. They have fallen for the illusion that happiness will be achieved when their prince or princess rides in on a white horse and whisks them away to marital bliss. So, instead of embracing life's precious moments, and living life with passion and purpose each day, they sit in the holding pattern of discontent. This is a choice.

You have heard the expressions - seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, finding the silver lining on the dark cloud, or viewing the glass as "half full" not "half empty". But this can be difficult at times. Each day we have to make that conscious choice to be happy, to focus on the positives, not the negatives. Granted, there are times when sadness is justified. Accept that the human experience can be challenging, difficult, and flawed, but don't dwell on misery. Sometimes when we feel blue, it is because we are transforming and "shedding our old skin" and growing into something better. We don't understand what is happening, and we temporarily feel a loss of our old selves. It is ok to feel a little blue during periods of transformation and contemplation of the self, especially when it means letting go of our old comfort zone, even if it wasn't serving us a positive purpose.

I am not going to promise you a cure for unhappiness, but my intent is to help you open your mind and soul to happiness and to invite it in. Here are a few activities for you to do while you consciously choose to be happy.

• Dwell daily on the things that make you happy.
• Make an effort to really make someone else happy.
• Think about the things you are grateful for - list them, count them, say them aloud.
• On occasion, or even frequently, find the time to do the things that gave you joy as a child such as drawing or other creative pursuits (without self-judgement of the outcome), blowing soap bubbles with a bubble wand, swing on a swing, play in the sand or dirt, lie in the grass and look at the clouds. 

Just thinking of these things may make you happier. Although this is not a scientific method of achieving happiness, it may just make you feel lighter, happier, and appreciate the simple things in life more..

But perhaps you are thinking that you really want to be loved and that will make you happy. It might be a wonderful accessory to go with your life, but love alone cannot make a miserable person happy to their inner core. But if you wish to add romantic love to your life, start by loving yourself, because happy, caring, loving people attract happy, caring, loving people.

Also, don't give up on yourself if you don't feel happy the moment you make the choice to live this way. You may have years and years of negative programming to re-write. Begin by believing in yourself.

Excerpt from www.SingleGoddess.com