#AlltheSingleLadies: You Don't Want What You Think You Do!

We know it sounds like a cliché, but in this case it’s true: single women are often initially attracted to qualities in a man that become problematic in marriage. Most won’t realize this until the fog of infatuation lifts. How can you single women be sure this won’t happen to you?

Let’s take one example: women are more likely to experience romantic love with highly dominant men—not dominant in a healthy, let-me-serve-you way, but dominant in a controlling kind of way (which, at the start, looks like he’s just taking care of you). These men often demonstrate less ability to express the kind of companionship, relational skills, and emotional attachment that women ultimately desire in a lifelong mate.

Acts 6:3 sums it up perfectly: “Select men who are well respected and are full of the Spirit and wisdom.” This is what the early church looked for in leaders of their congregations, and it’s what you want to look for in leaders of your home. Men who are filled with the Spirit—they are alive to God, and God is active in them—and men who are full of wisdom. You won’t regret making a choice founded on that basis.

Series: All the Single Ladies | LET'S GET UP & GET GOING...

Being single is all about you. You're the boss, so do what makes you happy — nothing is stopping you. You can spend a day reading in the park or go to the movies by yourself without feeling guilty for wanting to be alone. You can pursue a new hobby without worrying about how time-consuming it is. Your independence will come with ease. Your time is yours to use however you decide. Go explore and learn — there's nothing holding you back.

Ain't no stoppin' you now... LET'S GET GOING!

Series: All the Single Ladies, LET'S GET UP & GET GOING!

Meeting fresh faces is something you can easily achieve when you're single. You can be outgoing and friendly, flirt with whomever you like, and feel great about it. Not having a boyfriend will make it easier to meet new people and spend more quality time with friends. Making a new friend when you have a boyfriend can trigger jealousy and conflict. Even if you have no intentions of dating them, having guy friends or making a new guy friend can be risky when you have a boyfriend. So get out there, meet new people, strike up a conversation, and wink at the cutie in the cafeteria.

GET UP & GET GOING...

#AlltheSingleLadies | Soar Like an Eagle, Fake It 'Til You Make It

One way to break out of your own self-imposed limitations, take a step out of your comfort zone and build confidence is to play a part. This might sound like it couldn’t work. Like you are just making things up and lying to yourself. Well, that might be the case. But it still works. If you don’t feel confident, fake it and play the part of how you would think and behave if you were confident. Soon you’ll really start to feel confident. The part becomes real.

#AlltheSingleLadies | Soar Like an Eagle, Let Your Creativity Soar

Everyone is a creative person. But after childhood and the teenage years this is sometimes forgotten. Rediscovering your creativity is a good way to improve your confidence in yourself. Creating something is a wonderful but not always easy experience. But when you’re done you not only feel good about yourself. Sometimes you discover new, previously unknown parts of yourself. Being creative is good a way to get to know yourself and your hidden capabilities.

#AlltheSingleLadies | Soar Like an Eagle, Face a Fear

If you face a fear then your confidence takes about ten steps up. And for every time you face a fear you can slowly start to discover that the classic quote “There is nothing to fear but fear itself” was not just another empty cliche.

#AlltheSingleLadies | Don't Block the Flow Series, Friends and Family

Do your friends and family take advantage of your “good nature” and ask you to do too much for them with little or no return of the favor?  Unfortunately, it's not always a “good nature”,  sometimes it is a red light of self-esteem. Something is blocking the natural understanding you have as a goddess being about balance, versus the give and take in any relationship. Have the courage to say, “That’s enough!”